Watch-out for that Bottom Line

Is getting totally stressed up (and freaked out too!) by a friend as time goes by. 

Do watch out for words that come out from your mouth, please poke some common sense into the words that you utter. Don't be so immature and childish, we're adults and university-educated. Why provoke wars that break bonds and ties here and there? 

Was it just for attention-seeking purpose? 

Or was it your idea of having fun or a way of establishing personal loyalty? 

When 100 people ran away from you; it is time to take into consideration that the problem does not lies within the 100 person, but yourself. There is an obvious urgency to rectify your mistakes or to change your attitude. I have tried my best to fill-in my duties as a good friend, so please watch out for that bottom line of mine and do not push me overboard. Think twice (or thrice) before you utter any more stupid and pointless words that eventually drives everyone away. Put a halt to those lies and stop your yarn-spinning, its really driving everyone mad. 

Please, grow up and get a life.

We (your friends) are not nannies, it is not our task nor responsibility to look after you like kids running wild during playtime. We are not getting paid or rewarded for dousing out fires that you ignited here, there everywhere. Please take charge of yourself and stop freaking us out.

Kouhai - Senpai? Respect larh a bit!

Two recent ordeals have really kindled my anger towards few juniors from the same faculty. 

First, came a bunch of PR juniors whom barged into the class during Q&A session; though they were extremely late, they did not apologize or acknowledge the tutor in any way. They just fidgeted at the door and couldn't care less whether they had just interrupted the group whom was presenting up front at that time. After all these impoliteness, one particular student from the group got the whole class angry during his group's Q&A session. Questions were asked from the floor due to confusing work presented but was answered in a very defensive and ask-me-lah-I-will-fight-you manner. What's up with the raised voice and clenched fist dude? And the story doesn't end there, that particular rude student went home and decided to openly declare his unhappiness in his Facebook profile, by announcing that "...don't think you are all senior then can bully us! We are not a fool! N take note you are are not that smart... is just a faker! o0o!! " Another interesting quote from his Facebook status upload would be something like this "...Although you all are senior but act like a noob! We all are junior but not means we dunoo anything! o0o!!" 

I only have one question for you dude, who acted like a noob now? 

The following week, in came a group of AV students interrupting MY group's presentation; and for worst, I'm presenting up front at that time. ( indeed, I am a superior and bossy lady who appreciates respect from others .) The door was thrown open suddenly and a group of wild-eyed students came in, walked-past the presenting group, the rest of the class and headed towards the tutor whom they all clamoured around with, deep in their own discussion. And the tutor allowed them to do so, putting us on hold with a wave of his hand; and so the presenting group was left standing in front of the rest of the class like fools  ogling at the crowd around the tutor. "Excuse me, but I am still presenting here." Oops, that's me. Only after that, the tutor shoo-ed the juniors aside and let us continue our presentation and Q&A session. "Are you guys PR juniors?" "Err..no, we're from AV..." "OK, next time do have some courtesy." Me, again. 

It certainly has became one of the hottest discussion topics among us concerning juniors' impoliteness and their rude manners. Whether we're your seniors or not, it is crucial to learn and have proper manners wherever you go or in whatever you do. Lastly, a message to our cute FAS juniors; if you guys are interested in continuing your careers in the communications industry, do learn some basic courtesy and manners. Else, its just plain embarrassing.

青丝 . 情丝

把一头波浪般的青丝给剪了
发现自己原来真的
很伤

把一年多以来的情丝给斩了
发现自己原来真的
难忘

那边的他，
会伤心吗?
还是比我潇洒?

伪装的潇洒 & 愈合的伤疤

手上那浅浅褐色的疤痕，无时无刻提醒自己种下的愚蠢。
抉择在心灵上的折磨与身体上的疼痛，我好不犹豫选择了后者。
如今就算外伤复合了，疼痛不再了；那淡淡的痕迹却变得更明显。

我常问自己：真的那么潇洒么？
脸上的笑容是发自内心的，还是一味的逞强？

有位友人对我说，“你根本没资格说空虚， 开口的是你。”

但是，我是真正的爱过的；如今就算感情散了，空虚感是必然的吧？
尤其在手脚冰冷时，想起你总会温暖我双手双脚；
尤其在看见婚纱时，想起你说要我做美美的新娘；
尤其在看见冰淇凌，想起你爱吃的巧克力口味；
还有好多好多那些曾经的画面.......

面对着众人的爱戴与拥护，
我的笑容是灿烂的，大方的，倔强的...
面对着最真实的自己时，
才发现嘴角边抽蓄的很难看...

或许是第一次恋情的缘故，我不会控制的投入了很多的爱；
爱得越浓，伤得越疼；我领会了，但我不后悔我曾经爱过。

回首看一看...
如今那些爱已成往事了，我依然惦念那让我安宁的味道。

我好希望能够尽快走出这伤悲，
彻底的摆脱笼罩自己的伤痛，
打从心底的开怀大笑！

Fighting!

Mad... but True.

The picture has been getting more defined as time goes by, but choosing to ignore it was thought to be the best solution. If I don't react or if I stay down low, the whispers behind will just be forgotten soon enough? How I hoped so but...there is always a BUT (a butt too.) 

Mentality is something that is very difficult to gauge. People just do not bother to look at the bigger picture before they make judgements, its really funny and madly saddening at times. To think that we are no longer in the days of doing primary school and we should be able to make wise and balanced decisions especially in matters concerning friendship. Whether to divulge or to share a personal story with you or not, its... well, personal ... ain't it? The fact that I am not that prone to sharing certain matters with you might due to reasons such as timing? environment? mood? understanding? personal traits and level of acceptance? And so, I have decided not to tell you but another acquaintance. Are you going to be pissed? Or jealousy is the word? 

In-groups and out-groups are extremely common in any culture. Why get yourselves so damn fucked-up because of these trivial matters? You might be the in-group here but an outsider there, vice versa. Or even, neither here not there. So, what's there to complain and getting all stony-faced? I have not whined back then, and I will not do so either now. Fine by me should you got pissed or screwed-up... I'll just take a step backwards then. 

Had enough of all these. When the time comes where I couldn't and needn't to take it any more, I will certainly tell you : F*CK YOU. Go and live in your own world of jealousy and self-pity. What do I care? Duh~

Past tense.

Announced my official break-up just recently and yes, 
I was badgered by many questions and curiosity. 
The most frequent asked question was:
"Why? What happened?" 
Honestly, I don't really know how to answer this question which was posted by so many concerned friends.
There're too many complications in the relationship,
and to be frank, we can't pretty much expect everything to be a bed of roses.
I am thankful and happy that it wasn't a bad relationship.
I had good times and great memories.
I believe we do.
However, it is the time to let go now.
I do so after given much thought, after much perseverance and tolerance.
I do so after much love.
I am indeed thankful and happy that I have great and loving friends around me;
thank you folks, for your concerns and support!
I am indeed blessed and glad that I have a family whom are supportive and understanding.
I am living my best and;
I am on the right track to restore my former confidence and bubbly-ness.
Once, again - a big round of sincere appreciation for those who stand-by me always.


我, 依然敢爱敢恨 :'P

Thanks for Listening

Enjoyed a karaoke session with Chet, Piggy and Joey; it was definitely an awesome trip that relieved some of my pent-up stress, frustration and boredom. No, I did not enjoy watching Black Swan (p/s: Piggy, you shall not make movie suggestions next time ='P). I do not know its a compliment or not that those who went karaoke with me before commended that I'm good with oldies.. haha! 

Anyways, one of the songs that I sang tonight is 不能跟情人说的话 (Words that Cannot be Said to your Lover.) It is a great song which I meant to dedicate to my friends, especially those close few who has stood by me when I had my relationship crisis and crashes; and that you guys shown me much love and support by lending your ears and shoulders to me. Thanks for listening to so many words that (I) cannot be said to my lover, thanks for taking in my madness and silliness, thanks for tolerating with my rantings and laments, thanks for spending time and wiping my tears away. I am indeed blessed to have great friends that shown me great love and support. Thanks for Listening to Me.

Coffee Psychology

 How I crave for Starbucks and Black Canyon tis' moment; but Nescafe is my companion...

Been downing endless mugs of coffee this few days. Bloodshot eyes and obvious eye bags... its the assignment peak period again and this time, thesis completion date is also just around the corner. Many encouraged me to give it a "final push" - well, since I'm going to graduate soon. Another two more months to the end of my final trimester of my days as an undergraduate. Frankly, caffeine doesn't work on me anymore. I guess the reasons I am still craning for coffee is that somehow, I have the idea that the strong aroma would keep me awake and aware. Coffee psychology, eh? Sometimes, I might even make a cup of coffee just for its aroma. After one or two sip, the mug stays there until the aroma fades. 

Then, its time for another mug, another sip and another aroma-filled moment.